Probably since that very first pimple cropped up on your face, you’ve been on the receiving end of some unsolicited tips as to how to fix it.
Some of these tips will be gamechanging. Many will not. From a slather of toothpaste to natural remedies, history has given way to a riotous bunch of acne healing treatments.
Pimples: a history
Rumour has it, the first draft of the saying “death and taxes” was actually: “pimples, death and taxes”. (No.)
Before we discovered the concept of bacteria, hormones, sebum etc. etc., acne was unabashedly claimed to be caused by anything and everything. Melancholy. Too much sex. Too little sex. Too much fresh air. A mark of a witch. These wild theories were met with a bunch of wild treatments. Let’s review some.
A falling star
In the fourth century, the court physician to Roman emperor Theodosius believed acne was cured by watching a falling star and wiping your pimple with a cloth. The act was deemed powerful enough to make your pimple fall from your face.
Our review: Absolutely perfect. No notes. (We haven’t seen a falling star recently enough to confirm but it’s worth a try.)
Honey
The term acne comes from the ancient Greek term ‘akme’ which translates to ‘facial eruption’. Physicians of the era (including big players like Aristotle and Hippocrates) would treat akme by mixing an array of plants with honey.
Our review: Actually on the right track. Much like many modern acne treatments, honey is antibacterial and anti-inflammatory. It’s also a natural humectant so it can replenish the moisture in your skin. Of course, honey (and its high sugar content) can cause irritation—which tends to make it counterproductive as an acne treatment.
Nightingale feces
Dating all the way back to the Heian period, Japanese cultures used ‘uguisu no fun’ (translation: nightingale feces) to soothe the skin. Dried, crushed into powder and then mixed with water, uguisu no fun was then used to exfoliate the face and as a mask.
Our review: It might have ‘no fun’ in its name, but uguisu no fun is still occasionally used in some cultures today. Its fat-degrading enzymes are claimed to help even out blemishes. Obviously, all the risks that come with the microbes from fecal matter probably outweigh any possible blemish control.
Toothpaste
Many of us (me) likely went to bed every night of their teen years with a smattering of dried tooth paste spots on their face. A longtime favourite home remedy for pimples, this beauty tale has been passed down through generations. But it’s not entirely clear where this (disproven) beauty hack even came from.
Our review: NO. Lucky for our teeth, toothpastes include anti-bacterial properties—which aren’t uncommon in your skincare. But believe it or not, your teeth and the sensitive skin on your face are very very different. Fluoride, sodium lauryl sulfate, and flavoring agents (aka. all the good stuff that removes plaque and freshens your breath) are more likely to cause irritation and damage than to heal and soothe.
Silk or velvet patches
You might have noticed in historical portraits (or you know, Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette biopic) that old-timey people would don round patches across their face. Known as mouches (or "flies" in French), this trend was both cosmetical and functional.
Often crafted from silk, velvet, or fur (and sometimes shaped into adorable stars and moons), mouches would hide active breakouts or skin damage while protecting the skin from any irritants as it did.
Our review: Consider mouches the first draft of the pimple patch. While velvet or fur aren’t as healing as the dinky hydrocolloid that makes our modern patches, both share a similar logic of protecting your pimple and covering up any angry redness as it does.
Nappy cream
I have a theory that either you grew up as team toothpaste or team nappy cream when it came to your household’s favourite (and flawed) pimple treatment.
Most nappy creams are essentially often antiseptic creams designed to soothe the skin. While they’re great on a little one's toosh, the skin-healing ingredients remain a much-loved spot treatment and even mask.
Our review: Hey, whatever works. Unlike toothpaste, nappy cream is actually formulated for the skin so its list of caveats isn’t as stacked. The reason why nappy cream can be so great on spots is thanks to the uber-soothing zinc oxide in the ingredients as well as antibacterial and anti-fungal picks.
But since nappy cream was made for a very different part of the body than your face, it’s comedogenic. Meaning it can clog pores and actually lead to more break outs.
Treating acne today
Acne treatment is sadly no longer as dependent on falling stars. But! It has gotten very powerful, very effective, and very actually backed by science and clinical trials. Hydrocolloid Pimple Patches Spot Stoppas are powerful pimple patches that protect blemishes from external irritants and absorb unwanted gunk.
We went ahead and compiled your Go-To Guide To Pimples And Their Treatments to take you through all the breakout treatments at your disposal. Like the modern-form of mouches:Spot Stoppas
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